It's been a long time!

I forgot about this blog of mine, I guess time got the best of me and things just have been so hectic in my daily life. But I found you again blog and I plan to update as much as possible. It's not like I have a ton of followers, but that is not the point. My original purpose for starting this was so that if anyone who was as scared as I was would find it and find some comfort with my experience. I try to highlight the good and not focus on the bad. Although, it has not been a piece of cake as I hoped it would be without a thyroid, it is tolerable and I am blessed to have this second chance to live.

Since I last posted, I have had a couple scares. I had my tonsils removed due to a cancerous growth, gallbladder removed due to massive stones and am dealing with kidney stones as I type this. I have also had a small blood clot in my lung just a couple months ago (not cancer related). Not sure if it's age (I'm pushing 34 here!) or what, but since I have had thyroid cancer, it seems I have a little issue here and there. Nothing I can't handle, but not pleasant to say the least!

Let's talk about thyroid cancer related issues I experience. First of all, I used to dye my hair blonde and can't anymore due to the brittleness of my hair since thyroidectomy. I take biotin and prenatal vitamins and they just can't keep up. It all worked out though because I found a gentle hair dye that works,  not bright blonde but a really pretty caramel color that I love. That's called making lemonade from the lemons of life :) My skin has taken a beating also, I do not dare go tanning or any of that. I moisturize with a great moisturizer (organic) from The Body Shop and I love it. I consider these issues minor nuisances, I am lucky to have only these little problems.

The biggest problem I face daily is fear. Having cancer once is life altering. I feel like the cancer is like a little jack in the box inside me, I never know when it will pop up again. I live each day to the fullest in hopes that I do not have another recurrence. It is stressful, but not manageable. I meditate and count my blessings and that is enough for me. It is powerful what you can overcome if you put the thought power into it. You don't have to be sad or scared, you can rise up above that all mentally like the CEO of your brain that you are and kick in the ass by saying "I will not let cancer control my life!". God has my back, I fear no evil.

I have a new found love for volunteering. I began volunteering as a hospice caretaker 3 years ago and it has changed my heart and soul in so many good ways. I do not fear death anymore. It is an honor to help those at the end of their lives. I also (by the grace of God!) found a wonderful lady who sends goodie packages to pediatric cancer patients and I find a lot of joy in sending packages to these kids. Just knowing they smile is so rewarding! I guess what I am trying to say is helping others is what makes the soul joyful.

Today

It has been a month since my RAI treatment. I was one of the lucky ones who got the stomach flu the day after taking the pill. I was vomiting violently, I thought something was wrong with me due to the RAI! Ironically, the stomach flu was going around and I was exposed to it days before I took the pill. Hahaha, my luck!! :)

Anyways, other than the puking, it was a piece of cake. I went to the casino for a few days, how bad can that be right? We stayed in a suite, it was fun!


Back on my Synthroid since taking the RAI and all is back to normal. This journey has been crazy, but it has also been humbling. Today is Christmas, 2010. Thank you God for my life~ It is a gift I treasure.

All is good!~

RAI

Wow, today I feel really nauseous and my vision is pulsating.. Pretty weird being off the medicine for so long, it is starting to affect my body. Had my blood taken and my blood is very thick, never a problem.. Well the little gauze pad they tape on was full when I took it off at home! Sleeping is proving to be a challenge due to my limbs falling asleep. I like to sleep with my hand under the pillow, and now when I do it, my hand falls asleep - numb. So then I have to switch sides. My legs have been falling asleep too all the time.. Especially if I cross them. I am assuming this is due to bad circulation.. Which I never had so I am also assuming this is due to lack of thyroid hormone...I am not a complainey person, so for this stuff to grab my attention, it is bothering me. I am ok, at least it's not painful.. Other than the headache I've had for the past 4 days straight....

Looking for ward to taking the pill Tuesday and getting this over with!

Radioactive Iodine

Ok, well they have decided to give me this pill called Radio Active Iodine on November 16. I can't be home for days so it is going to be hard for me. I have been off the thyroid hormone for almost 2 weeks now. They plan to put me back on it after the RAI has run it's course. The purposeof this RAI is to blast away any remaining thyroid cancer cells in my body. I was told I couldn't cross the border during my time away because I would set off the alarms for high levels of radioactivity! Crazy stuff.. Not that I plan to cross a border, but could you imagine?! Getting detained! lol

I feel strange being off the medicine for these 2 weeks. My vision kinda pulsates at times and my limbs fall asleep all the time. I have had a headache, been a little nauseaus and my skin and hair have been acting strange.. Dry in a sense.. I am tired a lot, my joints feel numbish, or tickly sort of. It's hard to explain. Not pain, just strange. I can't wait to get this over with and get back on my Synthroid! This world of thyroid cancer is becoming my reality every day that passes. It's now who I am. I am a person who survived a cancer.

Weight

Well let's just say this.. I was pregnant when I was diagnosed so I gained a lot of weight after the surgery which put me in an unfair weight gaining bracket than most other thyroid cancer patients. I weighed 115 when I became pregnant and topped out at 176 the day I gave birth. I read that losing weight without a thyroid was very difficult but I don't care what they say :)

I have been working out every day of the week doing cardio for 15 minutes a day. I just do it in my living room, nothing fancy. I cut my calories to a bare minimum. I am on the Special K diet, it is easy and works. At first, I didn't lose weight as fast as I wanted to, but in the 6 weeks since I had the baby, I have lost 25 pounds. It wasn't easy, but you have to be determined. It is easy to be lazy and not work out. I just remind myself that my goal is to fit into a tankini by next summer (a bikini would be pushing it!). I will jog every day if I have to, I will lose it. Some people are not as ambitious to work out as I am, and will have a hard time losing weight. If you can't work out, you can at least diet. Really, no excuses~ Just do the best you can, stay committed and you will lose weight. Geez Louise, I did it, anyone can~ :)

Scar Today

And here is my scar today~ It's like a smile :)

The baby's name...

Oh yeah... we named the baby Phoenix :) ~

The Phoenix is a mythical fire bird that is born from ashes and also represents a second chance to live~ According to Wikipedia:

"A phoenix is a mythical bird that is a fire spirit with a colorful plumage and a tail of gold and scarlet (or purple, blue, and green according to some legends). It has a 500 to 1000 year life-cycle, near the end of which it builds itself a nest of twigs that then ignites; both nest and bird burn fiercely and are reduced to ashes, from which a new, young phoenix or phoenix egg arises, reborn anew to live again. "

The baby's zodiac sign is a Leo (fire sign) :) Perfect symbolism all the way around~