Am I scared? Yes.
I try to tell myself that other people are dealing with larger health issues, but for me, this is a huge deal and I can't help but find myself daydreaming about my life and wondering if I am going to miss the old me. When this happens, I remind myself that it WILL be me, and I am in charge. It is just going to be me without a cancerous thyroid!
If I do not have this removed, I will eventually die from it. It will spread throughout my body and I will die from cancer. With that as the alternative, I guess surgery isn't such a big deal.
The thyroid is a major organ, it produces a hormone and does many other very important things. If you have no thyroid making hormone, you die. You can live without one kidney, without your tonsils, without your gall bladder, but without the thyroid, you die if you do not take hormone replacement pills. If you stop taking the pills, you die. So, it is a big deal and it is life changing, but the good news is, it is not life ending. We can live our lives and experience the beauty that the world has for us. Imagine if you were told you have a month to live? The big picture is humbling.
As far as the hormone pill is concerned, I feel confident that I will be ok and be the same. If you take vitamin c from a pill or from an orange does it really matter? It is still vitamin c doing the same job right? Think of the thyroid hormone pills the same way.
This is my new mantra:
If I gain weight, I will work it off. If I lose hair, I will grow it back. If I get sad, I will remind myself to be greatful. If I feel dark, I will find the sun in the eyes of my children.
Repeat it, feel it, believe it.
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